Letter to the guy who might come after me
Hello,
You don't know me yet but eventually you will.
I will appear in your envious subconscious, and maybe that's because she will conjure my name and our tale from her lips. Someday in future, I wish you to tell me the story she painted of me — is it beautiful at least? Will she at least tell you that I loved her with every sick fiber of my being? Of course not, because you’ll be the next in her line of mishaps.
Will you hear my scream too? When she will break the news that she just cant be what she told you she was going to be? Different, better, “I want to actually try this time”, “you make me better”. Those words will echo, won’t they. No matter how much she repeats them, they still sound believable, and you can’t help but fall on your knees each time. Like me I know you will also get tired of bruised knees and a heart that is also yearning, wishing, hoping. She will age with every birthday an ever-unmoored person, but you and I? we are specks of dust in her galaxies, even when she called me her moon.
Yeah I know you will find me bitter, once you get to know me from her. But I will find you lucky because you will have her after I have already fixed her. Maybe her words against me will contradict in some way.
A relationship grows strong from bad days when both people try to remember good days more and just learn from the bad days.
But eventually, the one who chooses the rough side of this dilemma knows the power of love and they are not to be blamed. Anyways, over with the justification.
Your heart is mine, I know because someday when you will arrive in her life it will beat the same name over and over. And I will know you completely, I will know how your tears will taste like and how it passes your cheeks as it falls. You will understand the loneliness I felt, you will find yourself in the same dark room I closed myself. Not being able to express openly, no-one to talk , pillows become a pool. But for a fact I know that you’ll be more and more happy during the journey with her. And someday you’ll stop bleeding like I did.
I want to give you the map, but the trueness in you finding it yourself gives me some joy of reliving it.
